What an eventful few days. Costas has gone, he couldn't handle the CLEN heat and has removed himself from the kitchen. He decided on Sunday night, he spent Monday avoiding going to class and was gone at three this morning. Protocol be damned! Notice period to the wind! CLEN are lucky he didn't do the classic TEFL/love rat move, the "Bolt in the Night".
I had phone calls all day, getting angrier and angrier. They came to the conclusion that as I had been living with him for a few weeks I must share some mental link. Like twins, I sense when he was in pain. When my last class finished Alfonso was waiting for me. He drove me home and was hoping to find Costas in the flat so he could do something bad ass. I opened the door praying Costas wasn't in and thank God he wasn't. Though his bags were still in his room and like a big game hunter Alfonso knelt down and muttered about him still being in the city.
Due to his decision I've spent the last few days being treated with a degree of suspicion. They think I have had some part in helping him to decide or have been holding information back. It's like the great escape, I expect Celia to come up to me and say 'good luck' but I won't fall for it. It's a bit annoying that they think I forged him a passport and smuggled him over the open border in a hay cart. The jokes on them, I killed him. Should I be worried that I've driven away two flat mates, the second in record time?
Other than that, now the severe weather warning has passed, it has been mighty windy, the sun has come out! I'm so excited! My spirits raised instantly. I even went and sat on the balcony, your damn right we have a balcony, proper continentals. It does overlook a roundabout but that doesn't matter as when you sit down you stare straight at a concrete wall which acts as a barrier.
Due to the antibiotics I have also spent a lot of time not drinking. This is more of a problem when you have to spend time watching rugby. I have to say I am really enjoying it. I had a whole weekend with a clean head, I feel refreshed and whisper it was even a little productive. It is truly eye opening spending time with drunk people, everyone knows drunks talk shit but nonetheless so much of what is said is just repetition, pointless or terrible ideas to resolve the middle east problem.
I hope guys are all well
love love love x
Sunday 28 February 2010
Wednesday 24 February 2010
Raging in the Plague Age
I can finally be more specific about what I've been doing for the last week. I've not had the best of week as I've been to the doctors twice and today the hospital. I have tendonitis. I have had no idea what was the matter until todays little visit to the hospital. My poor tendons (the little things that attatch bones to each other) are INFLAMMED, meaning I ache like a bastard. It's like the ache you get from a long gym session but all day and without the smug satisfaction. The way they test for tendonitis is what makes the whole trip memorable. The doctor makes you lie down and then pokes you below your belly button but above the most sensitive of all male autonomy and tells you to try and sit up. I struggled and strained and honestly really fucking tried but despite him only exterting small pressure through one finger I couldn't sit up. It was actually pretty scary and I know its a medical test but its hard not to feel emasculated as you battle unsuccessfully with a man's index finger. I've been poked, pulled, elbowed and at one point even flicked, the man's a pro. He's given me some pills which I plan to make a huge effort of taking and making a huge meal of in front of the children, and hopefully I'll be right as rain in two weeks time.
This is how I discovered I wasn't registered as when I went to the doctor they found no record of a Mark Jonathan. They can't get their head around my name. In Spain you have both your fathers and mothers surname, they can't understand that Jonathan is my middle name and thus goes unsaid. The language was a bit of a problem but we made it through, though on their form at first it did say I was 11 which gave the doctor a shock when I came in.
Feel free to send cards, grapes etc and if anyone wants to sit by my bedside thats fine with me. Admittedly I won't be in bed, I'll be at work like normal but no harm in trying your luck.
love love love x
This is how I discovered I wasn't registered as when I went to the doctor they found no record of a Mark Jonathan. They can't get their head around my name. In Spain you have both your fathers and mothers surname, they can't understand that Jonathan is my middle name and thus goes unsaid. The language was a bit of a problem but we made it through, though on their form at first it did say I was 11 which gave the doctor a shock when I came in.
Feel free to send cards, grapes etc and if anyone wants to sit by my bedside thats fine with me. Admittedly I won't be in bed, I'll be at work like normal but no harm in trying your luck.
love love love x
Monday 22 February 2010
RE: The Fonz
I have had a very frustrating week. It turns out the guy in charge of money at CLEN and my landlord are the Spanish version of Del Boy and Rodney. When I arrived I was led to believe I was a fully registered citizen of this fair city. I am not. This is because my landlord doesn't want to declare my existence as it would cost him some cash and the CLEN guy who has no problem with that. Which means despite paying tax that if the time comes I can't use the doctor etc. When I asked about it people jumped into action, so I have spent a lot of time in offices being passive aggressive and signing various bits of paper. It's not resolved as now I'm registered as living in someone elses flat. I should have known they were shady when Nick once mentioned he was thinking of buying the car and the money guy at work head snapped up, "I can get you a car".
The weekend was mainly spent falling in love with the beautiful barmaid who works around the corner. Four of us, two of which were women, sat at the bar trying to look nonchalant, with varying degrees of success. She told us a little of her life we couldnt help fall into awkward silence.
It was also Ana's birthday. She had people to her flat for dinner. As she is a vegetarian I have to confess to being wary as everyone knows few meals without meat are worth eating but I needn't have worried. Her French boyfriend made beautiful food and then we had a look at a collection of things he had whittled with his bare hands in a real demonstration of what a real man should be like. We also met her famous rabbit, making jokes about stew will be more difficult.
My horrible class has restarted after they had a weeks break to go skiing. Taking the kids skiing is a yearly tradition as Pamplona is so close to the Pyrennes, I do not envy the guy who had to take them. They were alright day one of them informing me he had spent the weekend drinking marijuana, my first reaction was to laugh but maybe I'm out of touch with the kids these days.
It's actually been a very eventful week but more details hopefully after Wednesday.
To make up for this lack of anything very good, I'll post this historic moment as the internet reaches perfection
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm0upFdNVlA
love love love x
The weekend was mainly spent falling in love with the beautiful barmaid who works around the corner. Four of us, two of which were women, sat at the bar trying to look nonchalant, with varying degrees of success. She told us a little of her life we couldnt help fall into awkward silence.
It was also Ana's birthday. She had people to her flat for dinner. As she is a vegetarian I have to confess to being wary as everyone knows few meals without meat are worth eating but I needn't have worried. Her French boyfriend made beautiful food and then we had a look at a collection of things he had whittled with his bare hands in a real demonstration of what a real man should be like. We also met her famous rabbit, making jokes about stew will be more difficult.
My horrible class has restarted after they had a weeks break to go skiing. Taking the kids skiing is a yearly tradition as Pamplona is so close to the Pyrennes, I do not envy the guy who had to take them. They were alright day one of them informing me he had spent the weekend drinking marijuana, my first reaction was to laugh but maybe I'm out of touch with the kids these days.
It's actually been a very eventful week but more details hopefully after Wednesday.
To make up for this lack of anything very good, I'll post this historic moment as the internet reaches perfection
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm0upFdNVlA
love love love x
Tuesday 16 February 2010
Joseph Merrick
Hola, I'm sure I've found you eating pancakes and watching the Brits, come on now, you're not fooling anyone.
It's been a busy busy week. The biggest change is that after the Irish bass player who lived across the corridor has transformed into a Greek who plays more football manager than I do. Cormac's departure was trying. The week before he left his ferry set on fire so after rearranging he realised on the day of leaving he had no idea where his passport was. He never did find it but he has made it back to the emerald isle. Costas's journey was less stressful.
We spent 12 hours in bars on Saturday in what started as a quiet get to you drink in a local bar which can't make up its mind whether its Basque or Irish. It was a long but enjoyable day proving you can't beat the fruit machine and that if your job involves wearing an inflatable purple suit who really need to lighten up. Inexpliciably, the day also involved pina colada. I was half expecting Club Tropicana, where drinks remain at least moderately priced, to burst out as soon as you started drinking but it was not to be. I also managed to speak Spanish for HALF AN HOUR, beating my personal best by 29 mintues and 30 seconds. Costas has proved himself sober as well, thanks to him I finally know how the satelite box works. He can also Greek dance, I'm hoping to learn.
The main reason for being busy has been adult report writing which is wrist slittingly tedious. Highlighting the same categories over and over and then writing comments about lessons I forgot about months ago. My greatest hits of report writing slogans would include, "Don't be afraid to make a mistake" "Participates well" and "keep up the good work!". The real meaning of those comments is roughly, needs to speak more, doesn't shut up and I've got nothing. Mercifully they are finished, just in time to repeat the whole futile excerise for the kids in a few weeks.
CLEN has also divided into bitter camps as people who know nothing about rugby offer meaningless predictions and make outlandish claims that results prove a nation's superiorty. The Irish mobilized against the French, retribution was in store for the hand of Henry, they were humbled! The English have slammed the Welsh and poor Mauro may be in for a tough month. All this for a competition between six sides who are below the worlds best in a sport that ranks alongside archery and speed skating in terms and excitement and popularity, maybe I'm being unfair on archery, that shits hard. With the winter olympics I'm overdosing on rubbish sport, fortunately theres some football on tonight. Come on Lyon, watching Ronaldo lose is even better in Spain due to their insistence on calling him CR9 all the time, I wish I was joking.
I've just seen a run through of Spain's Eurovision potentials. They can be truly proud, I'm backing Ainhoa, she's got moves.
love love love x
It's been a busy busy week. The biggest change is that after the Irish bass player who lived across the corridor has transformed into a Greek who plays more football manager than I do. Cormac's departure was trying. The week before he left his ferry set on fire so after rearranging he realised on the day of leaving he had no idea where his passport was. He never did find it but he has made it back to the emerald isle. Costas's journey was less stressful.
We spent 12 hours in bars on Saturday in what started as a quiet get to you drink in a local bar which can't make up its mind whether its Basque or Irish. It was a long but enjoyable day proving you can't beat the fruit machine and that if your job involves wearing an inflatable purple suit who really need to lighten up. Inexpliciably, the day also involved pina colada. I was half expecting Club Tropicana, where drinks remain at least moderately priced, to burst out as soon as you started drinking but it was not to be. I also managed to speak Spanish for HALF AN HOUR, beating my personal best by 29 mintues and 30 seconds. Costas has proved himself sober as well, thanks to him I finally know how the satelite box works. He can also Greek dance, I'm hoping to learn.
The main reason for being busy has been adult report writing which is wrist slittingly tedious. Highlighting the same categories over and over and then writing comments about lessons I forgot about months ago. My greatest hits of report writing slogans would include, "Don't be afraid to make a mistake" "Participates well" and "keep up the good work!". The real meaning of those comments is roughly, needs to speak more, doesn't shut up and I've got nothing. Mercifully they are finished, just in time to repeat the whole futile excerise for the kids in a few weeks.
CLEN has also divided into bitter camps as people who know nothing about rugby offer meaningless predictions and make outlandish claims that results prove a nation's superiorty. The Irish mobilized against the French, retribution was in store for the hand of Henry, they were humbled! The English have slammed the Welsh and poor Mauro may be in for a tough month. All this for a competition between six sides who are below the worlds best in a sport that ranks alongside archery and speed skating in terms and excitement and popularity, maybe I'm being unfair on archery, that shits hard. With the winter olympics I'm overdosing on rubbish sport, fortunately theres some football on tonight. Come on Lyon, watching Ronaldo lose is even better in Spain due to their insistence on calling him CR9 all the time, I wish I was joking.
I've just seen a run through of Spain's Eurovision potentials. They can be truly proud, I'm backing Ainhoa, she's got moves.
love love love x
Monday 8 February 2010
The Owl
This is what they tell Spanish teenagers in text books,
"Alysham is alright, but if you want excitement you have to head to Norwich"
Oh the disappointment x
"Alysham is alright, but if you want excitement you have to head to Norwich"
Oh the disappointment x
Sunday 7 February 2010
The Pope of Chili Town
This week was better. The kids were nicer, the exams are over and the sun is beginning to emerge from weather the devil it has been for a few months.
This weekend's biggest endeavour has been my first venture into mass cooking for other people. Cormac leaves tomorrow morning so people came to the flat for dinner, and I stepped up. It was a small thing for a few people, and I thought I could handle it, but as the week went on it got bigger and the final task was to cook dinner for 12 people. One of which was Italian, which was just intimidating. When it came to choosing what to cook, there was only one option, yeah that’s right, the mother of all chillis
FOUR packs of mince, TWO peppers, ONE AND A BIT cans of beans A SHIT LOAD of tomato sauce. It was a gruelling three hour marathon. There were problems along the way, we had nowhere near enough plates of cutlery so some people got plastic ones like a school disco/church function. The electricity in the flat cuts out constantly and having three hobs on was asking for trouble so we spent quite a lot of time sitting the dark, as I was trying to cook I didn't even get to use to opportunity to grope. Then I had some rice issues, the first lot was only fit for low level wall papering. Fortunately I got away with it. Everyone was socially obliged to say it was nice so I'm claiming the win. I need more practice otherwise I'll never be middle class enough to marry some complete bitch with a name like Claudia who will make me move to Surrey force me to wear pastel jumpers and talk constantly about council tax.
That was the main task of the weekend, other than that had some drinks on Friday where they had a panache for setting drinks alight and went to see Osasuna on Sunday. They beat Tenerife to make it four league wins in a row, but the main entertainment was watching kids throw paper at a guy who had no way of getting to them so just spent the second half shouting and gesturing only to have more thrown at him
Monday 1 February 2010
Brooke Bond Tea
Hello! Back to the glories of the written word.
How are you? Well good, everything here is fine thanks.
To be honest the weeks since getting back have been frustrating. Its exam time for adults which means a lot more work than it first appears when they say they give you the paper. I finished work today at six and now at quarter past 11 I've finished marking, only for the same again tomorrow. I bumped into an English medical student in the main square (of video fame) and when I told her I was going home to mark she laughed and you know the transformation is complete, soon elbow pads will start to sprout in a District 9 stylee. Exams on the other side are tedious and dull, an hour and a half of silence. Also the students get stressed, what if I fail?!?!?!?! Nothing happens!!! I set the exam, its written by CLEN, its not a qualification, its just a way of checking progress. If their progress is bad or going in the wrong direction they don't get scolded but I do. Its what makes marking horrible, everyone they get wrong, what didn't I explain, did I miss that out, were my examples terrible?
The younger learners have being even more frustrating. The eight year olds were so bad one day I told the person in charge that I never wanted to see them again. They couldn't understand why I wouldnt want them shouting out the window to their friends in the playground below when it is full of their parents. Added to a multitude of other things left me so angry but the next lesson they were lovely. The teenagers seemed to have turned a leaf only to turn back in a week.
A frustrating few weeks have been capped by my mobile phone. I spend a lot of time waiting for messages that don't appear, ringing numbers to get a different person each time, never the person who I expected to be and a serious of terrible terrible decisions. I'm no good with other people.
Outside of school a second quiz win! Oh yeah! I didnt't get a single history one but films were better. I was on the same team as Marc who made it 3 out of 3 much to Raquels annoyance. For next time I'm going to write him a theme tune, make a cape and invest in some low level pyro. The man is a machine, insert question, receive trivia. The dandy Irish man who lives across the corridor is going home, sad face. It will sad to see him go but he will be much happier so God speed. A stir was caused when school suggested that when the person who replaces him arrives that they will stay on our (tiny) sofa for a week, hows that for a welcome?
During the week we went to see Osasuna take a kicking in the Copa del Rey. A 3-0 defeat to Racing Santander. We had seats right by the Racing fans who were shouting at us in Spanish for 90 minutes, I'm assuming it they were politely enquiring what the score was. Despite the defeat and abuse I did get to see wonder kid Sergio Canales in the flesh, believe the hype, you never get burnt if you believe the hype. In an old magazine at school I found an advert for a football camp that Charlton used to have in Malaga, when we could afford such things. Looking at the pictures of us banging in goals in the premiership almost led me to have a breakdown.
I hope you are all well, if you have read this far I tip my hat to you. Things are better than this post suggests!
love love love x
just because its awesome
www.theonion.com/content/video/final_season_of_lost_promises_to
sorry about the advert, other comedy networks are available
How are you? Well good, everything here is fine thanks.
To be honest the weeks since getting back have been frustrating. Its exam time for adults which means a lot more work than it first appears when they say they give you the paper. I finished work today at six and now at quarter past 11 I've finished marking, only for the same again tomorrow. I bumped into an English medical student in the main square (of video fame) and when I told her I was going home to mark she laughed and you know the transformation is complete, soon elbow pads will start to sprout in a District 9 stylee. Exams on the other side are tedious and dull, an hour and a half of silence. Also the students get stressed, what if I fail?!?!?!?! Nothing happens!!! I set the exam, its written by CLEN, its not a qualification, its just a way of checking progress. If their progress is bad or going in the wrong direction they don't get scolded but I do. Its what makes marking horrible, everyone they get wrong, what didn't I explain, did I miss that out, were my examples terrible?
The younger learners have being even more frustrating. The eight year olds were so bad one day I told the person in charge that I never wanted to see them again. They couldn't understand why I wouldnt want them shouting out the window to their friends in the playground below when it is full of their parents. Added to a multitude of other things left me so angry but the next lesson they were lovely. The teenagers seemed to have turned a leaf only to turn back in a week.
A frustrating few weeks have been capped by my mobile phone. I spend a lot of time waiting for messages that don't appear, ringing numbers to get a different person each time, never the person who I expected to be and a serious of terrible terrible decisions. I'm no good with other people.
Outside of school a second quiz win! Oh yeah! I didnt't get a single history one but films were better. I was on the same team as Marc who made it 3 out of 3 much to Raquels annoyance. For next time I'm going to write him a theme tune, make a cape and invest in some low level pyro. The man is a machine, insert question, receive trivia. The dandy Irish man who lives across the corridor is going home, sad face. It will sad to see him go but he will be much happier so God speed. A stir was caused when school suggested that when the person who replaces him arrives that they will stay on our (tiny) sofa for a week, hows that for a welcome?
During the week we went to see Osasuna take a kicking in the Copa del Rey. A 3-0 defeat to Racing Santander. We had seats right by the Racing fans who were shouting at us in Spanish for 90 minutes, I'm assuming it they were politely enquiring what the score was. Despite the defeat and abuse I did get to see wonder kid Sergio Canales in the flesh, believe the hype, you never get burnt if you believe the hype. In an old magazine at school I found an advert for a football camp that Charlton used to have in Malaga, when we could afford such things. Looking at the pictures of us banging in goals in the premiership almost led me to have a breakdown.
I hope you are all well, if you have read this far I tip my hat to you. Things are better than this post suggests!
love love love x
just because its awesome
www.theonion.com/content/video/final_season_of_lost_promises_to
sorry about the advert, other comedy networks are available
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