Four Score and Seven

Christmas is coming! One of the most wonderful times of the year. This of course all includes the normal reasons but with the added bonus of exams, I have my book at the ready, and printing ready made Christmas activities off the computer for the kids. Hours of planning reduced to printing off Christmas crosswords. The most wonderful time of year. The Christmas decorations are now out in full, the shops are rammed and it's freezing. Everything feels so festive.

My thoughts have finally turned to buying some Christmas presents. I used it as an excuse to go the El Rastro market. El Rastro is a huge market that happens every Sunday and is attended by thouands of people. It is a mainstay of Madrid life and I hadn't been. I felt a bit bad so I was excited to finally get down there. They weren't lying about the size, it was enormous. There are people every where that you have to battle through. There were so many stalls, some of them good, some of them, well, not so good. There were crafts, antiques and jewellery stalls on the good side. The bad side was people who literally were selling stuff I can only assume was taken out of bins, a stall selling a whole array of knives and loads selling novelty t-shirts. The worst one being one that read 'The Madrid Triathalon: Eating, Drinking, Fucking'. If that wasn't enough there were stick men to illustrate each. I find it depressing to think there are people out there who might wear that. With so much to see I didn't actually get any presents. God bless you Amazon.

The other big event in Madrid was Saturday's El Classico. I don't know where to stand anymore. I'm lost and confused. As a teenager I was a big Barca fan. I wore a shirt, read books about them and urged them to win every game, especially the classico. I didn't like Real Madrid. The fascist involvement, the supreme arrogance, the epic sense of entitlement. Those things are still true and I still dislike Real Madrid, though I have softened. However despite Barca being the best football team of my lifetime, my opinion has sunk. Being here I now realise they are half the problem. Real and Barca dominate everything and are strangling the rest of the league. Barca are just as self entitled. For example when they wanted to sign Fabergas and said Arsenal were holding him hostage. No, he is under contract, if you want him you have to pay Arsenal's asking price. That's how it works, for everyone. When the Barca team includes moaners, whingers and cheats players Mascherano, Dani Alves, Pedro and Busquets, it's hard for them to claim any moral superioty. Though they do spend most of their time looking down from their high horse on everyone. Alexis seems to be the next one. Spent a lot of the game waving an imaginary yellow card. Anyone who does that should be sent off without delay. Add to this the fact I love Madrid as a city. People speak so much rubbish about Madrid. I may want Real to lose but I want the city of Madrid to win. It is a conundrum. I had no clue who I wanted to win. Barca drew the first blood, scoring after twenty seconds but it wasn't to be. Barca won 3-1. It must be frustrating for the Madrid players. Real are a brilliant team, I think they would win the Premier League but for them there just happens to be one better team. There is no shame being worse than this Barca team, but I manage that is little consolation. Everyone here has been very philosophical. There was a lot more annoyance last year, this year people seem to have taken it in their stride.

There were two bank holidays last week. One of those days was used to visit a small town called Aranjuez. It's a pretty little town but unfortunately we couldn't see much of it. On the train down, out of nowhere, we hit a wall of fog and couldn't see anything. There is a beautiful palace in Aranjuez and the gardens are beautiful. We spent the day wandering around and enjoyed a long lunch. The fog was so bad we didn't realise until leaving that the whole town is surronded by mountains, big ones. There was one downside. I'm not exaggerating this at all. There were some buskers, one with a sax and one with a bongo. They played the same tune, solid, without break for the whole time we were, about six and a half hours. The same tune, without variation or break, over and over again. I wanted to stick the sax down his throat by the end. Though I suppose you have to admire their perseverance.

Other than that I signed up to be a guinea pig for trainee Spanish teachers. I have two hours of class every morning, plus my normal three, that puts me up to thirteen hours a week. If I don't learn a little damn Spanish this week I might just give up! I got in trouble today though I don't know why. I was working on the ghost story as I was asked. The teacher came over and asked why I wasn't enjoying it. I didn't realise I was giving off those vibes. He gave me a lecture about how we are only doing this to learn. Don't tell me mate, I have qualified. I know the drill. We might have beef. The other news is somehow I managed to get reversed heckled from an Elvis impersonator. I hadn't done anything! Must just be my appearance, I can't help looking like this.

Back on Christmas Eve, let's catch up.

love love love x

By Your Hand

We are back!

It's been a while but I have been busy. Really busy. I don't work Saturdays anymore which is great news but what I didn't realise at the time was that it offered a stretching effect. I am working the same number of hours in five days rather than six. Throw in more off site schools and thus more time on the underground and I'm seriously rushed. My xbox has been sadly neglected, this weekend I'm planning to spend some serious time reconnecting. It's quite sad at the moment of week, lots of people are leaving. I found out today Julio is leaving which makes me want to cry. The most exciting thing at work is that a work mate and I have a new plan to keep our kids in line. It is the classic good cop, bad cop role. Just because they don't know my face I can strut in shout a bit and look mean while my friend tries to look smiley and nice. It worked beautifully. Sure, I don't have the authority to do anything, but they don't know that.

The Spanish election was won by the El Tories but they don't start until after Christmas which seems a little strange. It means there are packs of media guys on the pavement outside school now. I like to pretend my arrival at work is considered news worthy but then when I saw the President of the Madrid region hanging around outside I suppose they were there for her. It was weird she was waiting outside for a car to come and pick her up and the photographers were dangerously close to being polite. Didn't even chase her down the street. I suppose we will have to get used to them being around.

Outside of school it was Amy's birthday at the weekend and she had a house party to celebrate. I spent the majority of it playing with her dog, or more accurately the dog spent most of the time playing with my laces. I wouldn't have been so friendly if I knew she wasn't house broken. It was a lucky escape. Monday night was exam night. I love exams. They bust their arse for three hours while I read a book. Though on Monday Charlton had a very important game at the same time and I spent the whole time fretting. I rushed home got it online and subjected my house mate to listening to me belittle Huddersfield and gloat when we won 2-0. Eight points clear baby. Other than that my goal tally for the season is now 3 and I have just eaten so much curry I might go into a coma.

The flat continues to be lovely. The novelty of living behind a secrt book case entrance hasn't dimmed at all. The only bad thing is that I came DANGEROUSLY close to making an Anne Frank joke to my German housemate and her German friend. I do know theres no such thing as an Anne Frank joke.

The Christmas lights are up which I'm enjoying though it does break my rule of nothing Christmas related until December. It's getting darker and colder which may sound strange but Christmas needs to be cold and dark. I have a friend in Australia now and says it's truly strange that it's sunny and all the decorations are still winter themed. I can't wait for tomorrow, my Mum has sent me an advent calender. Bless her.

love love love x

Porno

Hi everyone.

You may have heard more from me in recent times than you wanted. My email was hacked and a LOT of pornography was sent out. Maybe you enjoyed but if not I'm sorry! I have spent today apologizing to a lot of people, including my mother, little sister and some students. They took it well.

Other than that Madrid is good! It's been a very good few days at work thanks to England scrapping past Spain on Saturday. The Spanish are shell shocked and I can't say I blame them. I have been gloating a little but as they point out I agreed with them that Spain would win comfortably before hand. More on the game on the other blog. It was a more footballing weekend than normal last weekend as I scored my third goal of the season and more joyfully I actually got to watch Charlton in the pub. It was wonderful, we won 4-0, love you Charlton. Other than football Madrid is gripped by election fever. On Sunday they go to the polls and I'm told the Spanish version of the Tories (PP) will win by a landslide. PP's headquarters is on the same street as our school so there has been lots of people shoving stickers and leaflets into your hand everytime you go past. A Spanish election is a lot less intrusive than an English one, if it wasn't for PP being on our street I'd be barely aware of it.

Everything has been pretty rock n roll recently. Went to see a choir on Saturday as my friend Claire was performing. It was really good, we all got to feel very cultured sitting in a beautiful church listening to songs in Latin. It was all a little over my head but it sounded good. I was back on church on Sunday and as after our service they were holding a Remberance Sunday service, which the British Ambassador and a few high level army guys were attending, sniffer dogs were brought through in case we had planted any explosives. We hadn't.

School has been pretty normal. This is the first week for three weeks I have had to work five days a week, it's been a shock. Spain loves bank holidays and wonders why its even more skint than we are. I have one problem kids class when someone came to observe to try and work out a way to get them focused, only for her to walk in and for all the kids to behave like angels. I have been very lucky with classes generally. My adult classes are great.

The term is flying, home in no time.

love love love x

Stan Collymore

It's been a while but we are back! It has been an immensly stressful few weeks, but after wanting to tear my hair out in despair, I am writing to you from a new flat! I really like it, its big and bright and there is some football stadium at the end of the street. Apparently it belongs to Real Madrid, no I haven't heard of them either.

I and three other people I live with made the decision to move out a few weeks ago. We were sick of the landlady sleeping the living room, especially as she often slept until two in the afternoon. She told us it was temporary but as the bags piled up and after she went from the sofa to a fold down bed we realised it was a little longer than previously stated. We soon learnt to take everything she said with a pretty large pinch of salt. It is fair to say she did not take kindly to three of us wanting to move out and one point stooping as low as to accuse of us racism. Is it because I am Venezuelan? No, no, it isn't. We looked at a few flats, agreed on one changed minds a few times but have finally found somewhere. That is not doing the stress of searching justice but I can't go into it again. At one point we didn't think we could move into this place as one of my room mates was unable to withdraw money as her bank was without power due to a huge snow storm in the north east of America. Even the weather was out to foil us, that's how it felt.

Otherwise it is great to be back in Madrid. My new classes are good. My adults are all lovely and pretty motivated all but one kids class are great, two out of three ain't bad. I intercepted my first note today! Two girls passing a note to each other which said, Do you want to pass notes? It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been written in English. First Spanish class back was good, new teacher seems and I'm seriously motivated this year as over the last year I was deemed to not have progressed enough to move up. I really need to sit down and just learn some fucking Spanish. The new workmates are nice and the old ones are just as great as they were. It's a bit weird that quite a few didn't come back but they all seem to be doing well.

Outside of work I had my first ride in a cable car in many years. It was really strange as it was just across some fields leading up to Casa de Campo, next to the motorway. They played Phil Collins and at some points it was so low we were going through the trees. I'm getting to now Charlie the parrot pretty well, he likes to sit on my shoulder and bite my ear lobe, I'm told its affectionate but I get the feeling that excuse won't work with the police if I try it on any young ladies. Sunday football has restarted, I have brought this season's goal tally to one. It's business as usual.

love love love x

nagkccc.wordpress.com/

2.0

nagkccc.wordpress.com/

It's a brave new world x

Michael Laudrup

Hola chicos

The first week back in Madrid is coming to an end. It has been really good but a strange. By the end of the first year I was on autopilot. I could get to wherever my next class was without even thinking about it. I knew when my planning slot was, when I would have twenty minutes to grab some food and who I would say and when. This week is weird. New classes, new students in new places. I've been to three new areas of Madrid, one so far north feel like you are going to get a nose bleed. I've even been to a new IH centre, Diego de Leon, I heard bad things but so far so good. There are a lot of new guys though it does seem a lot less than last year. Obviously a lot of people have left and I don't see the others that have remained so I'm getting to know some of the new guys, which in a strange way does feel like starting again. Everyone I have met seems lovely so I'm hopeful. The new classes are good, I still have one which I haven't met. The kids are good so far. As soon as the star chart comes up they are putty in your hands. I have one boy who would murder for you if he got a star for it. A good friend is also now my senior teacher which I was worried would be weird but its been great so far. It feels like I have been back for an age. It all seems so familiar and yet very new. The times they are a'changing.

Though some things never change. Spanish starts again on Friday, I have basically forgotten everything. I arranged to meet my old intercambio and I think she is a little shocked at how much time I spent just nodding and agreeing! I need to book a football pitch and hopefully tomorrow will be the first sneaky Thursday of the year.

Just a quick one I have to be in a few short hours.

love love love x

The World Was A Mess But His Hair Was Perfect

We've been away but now we are back! I'm coming at ya from my new flat. It's all very exciting. It is also the main reason why there has been a lack of updates. Flat hunting is so stressful. Hours pouring over internet ads, the vast majority of them completely inappropriate, and on the phone. Most people never answer or if they do it's only to tell you that the room has already gone. Only about 5% of calls result in actually getting the chance to view and then what is inside is anybodies guess. Some people actually let you get to the flat to tell you that they have rented it already. It's maddening.

The first one I saw was a disaster. I got there ten minutes early and had a look around the area, Bilbao, and it was perfect. I was thinking that it would take a crack den or a bomb site for me not to take it. Even if it was a bit dingy, I could put up with that for such a good area. Not like I'm used to luxurious flats. The man who lived there was called Diego. On the website it said he was between 28-32 but he was in his late fifties or early sixties. It shows how much I liked the area that this didn’t instantly put me off. He showed me the living room which was nice but the real problems began when he showed me to my bedroom. He went to the end of the living room and drew back a curtain. It wasn’t a room; it was the last quarter of the living room cleared out with a curtain separating it from everything else. There wasn’t a bed. There was a ledge that came up to about the knee and stuck out into the room and he had just put a mattress on top. The whole mattress couldn’t fit on the ledge so if you had rolled over on it, it would have tipped off. There was an en suite toilet but the shower was upstairs in the guy’s bedroom! It was a mezzanine which you could also see straight into and to shower I would have to go into his room. But the bathroom there was not an original feature it also had a dividing wall put in, which was made of clear glass. He said I could bring back ‘amigas’. He doesn’t need to worry about me on that front but if he did it wouldn’t be the most suitable location. Imagine, let's go behind the curtain and in the morning you can shower in front of Diego. There were also pictures of naked women everywhere, but they were in black and white so it's art, not porn. Being British I said it was nice and I would call in the morning. That is not quite as pathetic as earlier in the day where I pretended the phone was breaking up when speaking to an overly pushy housing agency.

However it is done now. I found somewhere and its good. I'm living with two lovely American girls though they will be moving out soon, lots of people coming to see the place, and a Venezuelan who I was told is very, very shy. I have barely seen him but when I have he looks at the floor and gives a little wave. The highlight is a parrot called Charlie who can sing the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy. He's so clever.

Apart from flat hunting it has been great catching up with people. Day by day a few more land so its been busy; mainly taking stick for Osasuna's 8-0 defeat at the hands of Barcelona. It was much more equal than the score makes it appear. There has also been enough for time for some serious quality time spent with Gears of War 3 with Lukasz. Wave after wave of evil alien hordes to be mowed. It's emotional, I've seen things you can't imagine. We start again tomorrow though class isn't until Monday. I have to say I'm really looking forward to getting back into it, though I'm in three secondry schools this year and they have the potential to change my mind very quickly. Madrid hasn't changed much, which is fine by me. Realised that I had missed it when I landed.

love love love x

The English Riveria

Hello! I apologize if this post is a little strange. It hasn't stopped raining here for two days and I used that time to watch Requiem for a Dream, I think I'm cracking up.

Some guys look amazing in suits (Chris Powell), some guys do not. Some guys look like a teenager that is wearing his Dad's clothes to a job interview at a supermarket. I am in that third category. Last weekend provided the chance to dust down the suit as my cousin got married. As ever we left three days early to ensure we weren't late. We were so early we went to the pub and got some very strange looks, suits and dresses are not the usual attire on a Saturday afternoon in a pub in Enfield. Cheryl looked absoultely beautiful and the whole day went perfectly. The most nervous person was actually the Priest who looked terrified. It turned out it was his first ever wedding servive, he did a sterling job. The reception was a great chance to see the family. We aren't one of those live next door families so any chance to see everyone and catch up is always welcome. It was great to bond with the family over the universal and fierce hatred of the song 'Swagger Jagger' or as my Dad describes it "that noise". Congratulations Cheryl best of luck.

Weddings and talk of weddings seem to be rife at the minute. For the first time in ages, loads of us were in Kent, AT THE SAME TIME. It's the first time in a long time that I can remember Matt and Pat being in the same room. They managed to hide their bitter loathing of each other. They also brought their lovely lady friends. Matt likes his lady friend so much that he asked her to marry him, and the wedding talk has started. There is talk of the day, there was more confusion over the date (which is set) than you would expect, clothes and how one of us will probably do something stupid that will be on You Have Been Framed within weeks. I for one am giddy with excitment. It was fantastic to see friends and I'm happy to say I made two new friends in the process. For some reason two young children, you were bored out of their minds, chose to befriend me. The boy was wearing a plastic police hat and declared I was under arrest. He then rightly decided that Hannah was a far more suitable candidate for some pretty serious jail time. There is a picture on facebook of me rocking the police helmet. It was more Hot Cop Stripper than rough law man, but still I could see crime trembling.

Other than that I have actually done some Spanish, went to Charlton and listened to Dad moan through another England game. Some things will never ever change.

love love love x

The Golden Age of Knowhere

Hola amigos. I must confess thats basically all the Spanish I have done since getting home but I'll get down to some serious work tomorrow or later in the week, you know sometime. Thoughts are beginning to turn back to Madrid as I will be returning in three weeks or so. The plan for this summer was to start looking for work at home and commencing the beginning of the end for this TEFL lark. However, that has basically been a non-starter. Camp took up all my time and it would be unrealistic to think I would find something in the few weeks and the last thing I want to do is sit around unemployed for doing menial work. The new masterplan (#58284) is to return to Madrid and start looking there while I'm working. Being away from Madrid has made me realise how much I miss it and it feels like after only a year there is some unfinished business.

I was lucky enough to see Sean, Amy and Kate in London this week. As usual all three were a lot of fun and they added some insight. It turns out I'm not the only one who spends a lot of summer thinking about what to do next, it does seem to be a part of TEFL life. My theory is that with such clear breaks it is a lot more difficult to drift through a few years in a job that is just on going. Amy reminded us that in our early twenties it's ok to not have everything plotted out, while Sean made the point that it is good to be thinking of these things. We all felt better!

However the day in London was not all about the future. Amy took us to the Wellcome centre. Henry Wellcome was a "pharmaceutical entrepreneur" who travelled the world collecting items that took his fancy. From medieval Japanese sex aids, torture devices and even Napoleon's toothbrush, it really was something. How they know it's Napoleon's toothbrush I will never know but I'm prepared to take their word for it. There was also an exibihiton on dirt which culminated in blocks of human faeces. It was arty, alright. It was all very London and I loved it.

Talking of London that was not the end of fun. At the end of the week I managed to catch up with Alex. I was allowed to sit in his swanky office drinking cucumber water, I was a natural. To Alex's disgust there was a Nando's but much more to his liking was the cider festival. The butterscotch cider being a low point as one of the natiest things I have ever drunk. The night ended with me failing to wake Alex has he slept on the sofa despite at one point holding his eyes lids open. The resoultion was for Anderew to forcibly drag Alex across the floor. Classy.

A little closer to home was John's leaving do. I had a little hitch when I went to the wrong house, it wasn't my fault, but Row came to rescue me. I had attemted to walk after directions from a real geezer who told me that it would "take alf owha to bowl dawn there" and "its pwopa far". I got to meet John's extended family, one rocking the most amazing orange tunic thing. There was a buffet, didn't quite disgrace myself, and there was even the Game of Life. I don't know if you have ever played the Game of Life, it takes a lifetime to play and I had previously thought it was impossible to do badly at but this afternoon proved otherwise. Sarah and me on the same time started slowly and it just got worse and worse. Sarah revealed her true colours by bailing on me to fight alone while Wainwright spent his time waving his paper money around like a rapper. It was cool. Normally in the Game of Life you end up with over a million and a list of achievements that no one in any life time could ever achieve; like climbing everest, writing a best seller, designing a new life changing invention and landing on the moon. All we ended up with was a sinking sense of shame. The main thing was to wish John well before he heads off to Peterborough to work with bulldozer engines. He seems enthusiastic which is more than most can say about Peterborough but then he will live in a house in the shape of a triangle, so who wouldn't be?

I'm currently watching the coverage from Reading and Leeds and as ever it makes me jealous that I didn't get to a festival this summer. This year I will get organised and get to a festival next summer, I mean it! Remind me nearer the time. You should come.

love love love x

The Joy Formidable

Hello! I hope this post finds you well.

It has been a busy week. Had some farewell drinks with the summer camp guys. It was a lot of fun and a little strange to play ring of fire with my bosses. What everyone had been waiting for was the final rendition of a song that has been being written for the last few weeks. It was in honour of a Russian woman who was accompanying a group of kids. It was called 'I Would Eat You (If You Were Made of Chips).' It brought a tear to my eye.

I made my regular pilgramage to Cambridge. Thanks to Kelvin and Sophie for letting me sleep on their floor and thanks to Mark for taking some time out of his busy schedule to have a few drinks. I had a really good time. Most of it was spent as any trip should be and sat in a variety of pubs. Sometimes inside, sometimes outside, sometimes by water, sometimes not. Perfect. We had a lovely picnic by the river that couldn't even be ruined by a horde of evil swans. I have said it before and will say it again, I really like Cambridge. It's not even ruined by hordes of bicycles. Hordes have no power.

One of the main things it has done to me has got me thinking about my future, which is always a dangerous pursuit. The thought of doing a masters has been on the back burner somewhere in my the back of mind for a while, but after the rave reviews that master courses got over the week and the exciting news of someone actually getting employed with one has pushed it further it the foreground. I spent a few hours last night doing some research and there are some great ones but the same nagging problems remains. That problem is that I don't have nine grand knocking around. If anyone wants to volunteer some, let me know. There are some other questions. Should I try to find a job before applying? Do I have the ability to do one? Should I got to Korea to teach first where you can make thousands in a year? Any advice would be welcome. I am so easily swayed.

The other exicting news is that my uncle is here. He lives in Cincinatti and only comes over every two years or so. He is currently sleeping in my sister's room and is snoring like he has swallowed a turkey. My great uncle Chris and his wife Maureen are also home from Australia. In their honour the family of Maureen held a bbq in their honour. We were invited down and spend some time with people who really qualify under the loosest possible definition of family. It was a strange afternoon, I was told a few times that it was really nice to see by someone who didn't know my name. Our family huddled together with my sister making observations, my favourite being "she looks like a fish". The real entertainment was provided by my uncle who went around telling people he was gay. He isn't, but it provided some laughs until my mum outed him as straight. Killyjoy.

love love love x

Starkey

I'm sorry. I take it back about Starkey, he's completely lost it. However, my Grandmother's love for him will remain/increase.

love love love x

England Keep My Bones

Its been quite a week hasn't it? Despite what some people claim I don't think many of us saw that coming. Watching the news this week has been awful and yet I have been compelled to watch, read and listen to as much as possible. I confess to having taken a morbid fascination in the whole thing. Dave is on TV now talking tough as I'm writing this. As it has calmed down for now at least, everyone is trying to explain what happened and it all seems so complicated and so simple at the same time. As usual people who have spoken about understanding what happened have been accused of justifying it. As a former history student, though not a very good one, and having spent some time writing essays about and trying to understand some truly horrific people that criticism is obviously ridiculous. Some people have given deep reasons of urban poverty and moral decay while others have said that it all simply about getting a new pair of trainers. I think it's a bit of both. New trainers aren't the problem. The problem is, and I include myself in this, that we at every level of society are too focused on stuff. Stuff we can really do without. Everywhere we see people looking out for themselves. Whether it be "greed is good" bankers or expense fiddling politicians. It's not just them, we have a huge credit card debt in this country and as Bluewater can testify that, even the day after Christmas, will queue and wait however long to get into a shopping centre. We define little girls as shoppers. It's not even just us, as I mentioned in an earier post all the kids at my camp wanted to do in London was shop. No interest in the sights, just shopping. It all started with Mark Duggan, who will probably be forgotten about, but people saw their chance and took stuff they otherwise would never be able to afford. That's my take on things anway. Sorry to get all sociological on you. Feel free to correct me.

The whole thing has left my Mother looking out of the window in case New Ash Green kicks off, so far, so good. My Dad can't believe his luck that he's been off all week and my sister dragged her boyfriend against his will to London today. If she didn't get to see We Will Rock You tonight then New Ash Green may well have been in flames tonight. So different, yet I'm assured we are related. The small remnants of camp had a last minute diversion to Thorpe Park which I'm told they enjoyed. I do worry what the millions of people around the world think when they see it all but I suppose there's nothing that can be done about that. Other countries have riots too. I just hope they all see the people cleaning up too.

Oh dear David Starkey is on TV tieing himself in knots; my grandmother will be cheering him on.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh5ogOH82Aw


love love love x