Ginger Beer

Its been lovely being home. It's been lovely to see everyone. I've started back at the gym. Its still an inheritinely degrading experience. We've had some excursions to the seaside, walks in the countryside, its all been very famous five.

The highlight was todays trips. Aren't animals amazing? After months of increasingly less obvious suggestions a hardy group of us made the epic trawl across the great plains of the South to Longleat. It was a proper little day trip. At six in the morning the car was not the cheeriest of places, especially when caravans rear their ugly heads. Why do people do it to themselves? But after a filthy roadside breakfast, you're ready to go.

At the start I'm usually not bothered about animals but by the end I end up chooing and clucking like an idiot, speaking in a stupid voice. Meerkats normally bring this unpleasant side out of me the most and they did again.

Though the my favourite animal today may have been a gorrilla. He is 47 which apparently for a gorilla is like being 100 for a human. He sits on an island by himself and apparently if you try to introduce other animals to the island he will throw whatever he has to hand at them until they are taken away. He has a TV on which he likes to watch Sponge Bob. He is my hero, when I'm old thats what I hope I'm going to be like. Its worrying when the ranger described the gorilla as liking bright colours, moving pictures and sleep, but thats what I like.

An animal I swear I'm never going to be like is the fucking Pelican. We were driving around minding our own business when a pelican stepped into the middle of the road and refused to move. John edged forward sure he would just pop out of the way, but he was not to be moved. He then took out his beef on the front of John's car and a ranger had to move the miserable bastard on. Lions? Tigers? Wolves? No, we were rescued from a pelican, but it was a pelican with a bad attitude and a point to prove.

Other activitites of day included John and myself demonstarting just how bad a pair of losers we can be when beaten to the centre of hedge maze, feeding some deer and fighting over ipods.

Hope you are all well, I'd let you on my island to watch Sponge Bob

love love love x