Must've Run All Day

I've been reading some soppy articles written by D-list celebrities, proof that I am indeed making the most of this experience. They are open letters to teachers who inspired them and whose lessons have stayed with them throughout the years. It was enough to melt even this heart of stone. These happen to correspond with mid year reports, not on my students but their evalution on me. You aren't allowed to be in the room when they do them, so not to influence them, so I have to go and stand in the corridor like a naughty child.

I won't know what they say for a little while, if I'm home in the next few weeks you know they don't like me. I really want to know, its like knowing someone is talking about you but they go quiet when you go anywhere near them. It has led me to evaulate myself in an attempt to predict what they might say. With lots of people thinking about being teachers at the moment I thought I would try to offer a few things I have learnt along the way.

*For English teachers especially spelling is important, especially when the word is incompetent, won't make that mistake again.

*Don't offer a child a pen that can also act as a torch, he was gone and now so is the pen

*Don't be learning the grammar as you yourself write it on the board, especially saying out loud something along the lines of 'ohhhh that makes sense'

*Its best to ignore the sexual side of a word. For example 'knob'

*They just won't be convinced to stop using the verb 'to party' but refuse to accept that there is such a verb as 'to Wikipedia'

*Think before you start examples, defining the word limp can lead you down some dark and dangerous paths, involving a hand gesture that you will never be allowed to forget

*With children giving out and more importantly taking away meaningless points is not a decision to be taken lightly, be prepared to live with consequences

*Try not to giggle when they mispronounce the word 'can't'

*The ones with a good level of English always think they are terrible while the ones with a bad level of English always think they are amazing

*You aren't there to defend the left side of the road or the packaged sandwich

*If they say they can swear in English take their word for it don't challenge them to, the results are... eye opening

*Be prepared to repeat yourself to the point of bordering on insanity

*They will make you doubt your grasp of English, if all else fails use the English teachers best friend "It just is that way" try not to follow it up with 'Ha!' or 'In your face!'

and most importantly, you will come to love them all, even the bastards.

I hope you are well, love love love x