Sunday, 28 August 2011

The Golden Age of Knowhere

Hola amigos. I must confess thats basically all the Spanish I have done since getting home but I'll get down to some serious work tomorrow or later in the week, you know sometime. Thoughts are beginning to turn back to Madrid as I will be returning in three weeks or so. The plan for this summer was to start looking for work at home and commencing the beginning of the end for this TEFL lark. However, that has basically been a non-starter. Camp took up all my time and it would be unrealistic to think I would find something in the few weeks and the last thing I want to do is sit around unemployed for doing menial work. The new masterplan (#58284) is to return to Madrid and start looking there while I'm working. Being away from Madrid has made me realise how much I miss it and it feels like after only a year there is some unfinished business.

I was lucky enough to see Sean, Amy and Kate in London this week. As usual all three were a lot of fun and they added some insight. It turns out I'm not the only one who spends a lot of summer thinking about what to do next, it does seem to be a part of TEFL life. My theory is that with such clear breaks it is a lot more difficult to drift through a few years in a job that is just on going. Amy reminded us that in our early twenties it's ok to not have everything plotted out, while Sean made the point that it is good to be thinking of these things. We all felt better!

However the day in London was not all about the future. Amy took us to the Wellcome centre. Henry Wellcome was a "pharmaceutical entrepreneur" who travelled the world collecting items that took his fancy. From medieval Japanese sex aids, torture devices and even Napoleon's toothbrush, it really was something. How they know it's Napoleon's toothbrush I will never know but I'm prepared to take their word for it. There was also an exibihiton on dirt which culminated in blocks of human faeces. It was arty, alright. It was all very London and I loved it.

Talking of London that was not the end of fun. At the end of the week I managed to catch up with Alex. I was allowed to sit in his swanky office drinking cucumber water, I was a natural. To Alex's disgust there was a Nando's but much more to his liking was the cider festival. The butterscotch cider being a low point as one of the natiest things I have ever drunk. The night ended with me failing to wake Alex has he slept on the sofa despite at one point holding his eyes lids open. The resoultion was for Anderew to forcibly drag Alex across the floor. Classy.

A little closer to home was John's leaving do. I had a little hitch when I went to the wrong house, it wasn't my fault, but Row came to rescue me. I had attemted to walk after directions from a real geezer who told me that it would "take alf owha to bowl dawn there" and "its pwopa far". I got to meet John's extended family, one rocking the most amazing orange tunic thing. There was a buffet, didn't quite disgrace myself, and there was even the Game of Life. I don't know if you have ever played the Game of Life, it takes a lifetime to play and I had previously thought it was impossible to do badly at but this afternoon proved otherwise. Sarah and me on the same time started slowly and it just got worse and worse. Sarah revealed her true colours by bailing on me to fight alone while Wainwright spent his time waving his paper money around like a rapper. It was cool. Normally in the Game of Life you end up with over a million and a list of achievements that no one in any life time could ever achieve; like climbing everest, writing a best seller, designing a new life changing invention and landing on the moon. All we ended up with was a sinking sense of shame. The main thing was to wish John well before he heads off to Peterborough to work with bulldozer engines. He seems enthusiastic which is more than most can say about Peterborough but then he will live in a house in the shape of a triangle, so who wouldn't be?

I'm currently watching the coverage from Reading and Leeds and as ever it makes me jealous that I didn't get to a festival this summer. This year I will get organised and get to a festival next summer, I mean it! Remind me nearer the time. You should come.

love love love x

Saturday, 20 August 2011

The Joy Formidable

Hello! I hope this post finds you well.

It has been a busy week. Had some farewell drinks with the summer camp guys. It was a lot of fun and a little strange to play ring of fire with my bosses. What everyone had been waiting for was the final rendition of a song that has been being written for the last few weeks. It was in honour of a Russian woman who was accompanying a group of kids. It was called 'I Would Eat You (If You Were Made of Chips).' It brought a tear to my eye.

I made my regular pilgramage to Cambridge. Thanks to Kelvin and Sophie for letting me sleep on their floor and thanks to Mark for taking some time out of his busy schedule to have a few drinks. I had a really good time. Most of it was spent as any trip should be and sat in a variety of pubs. Sometimes inside, sometimes outside, sometimes by water, sometimes not. Perfect. We had a lovely picnic by the river that couldn't even be ruined by a horde of evil swans. I have said it before and will say it again, I really like Cambridge. It's not even ruined by hordes of bicycles. Hordes have no power.

One of the main things it has done to me has got me thinking about my future, which is always a dangerous pursuit. The thought of doing a masters has been on the back burner somewhere in my the back of mind for a while, but after the rave reviews that master courses got over the week and the exciting news of someone actually getting employed with one has pushed it further it the foreground. I spent a few hours last night doing some research and there are some great ones but the same nagging problems remains. That problem is that I don't have nine grand knocking around. If anyone wants to volunteer some, let me know. There are some other questions. Should I try to find a job before applying? Do I have the ability to do one? Should I got to Korea to teach first where you can make thousands in a year? Any advice would be welcome. I am so easily swayed.

The other exicting news is that my uncle is here. He lives in Cincinatti and only comes over every two years or so. He is currently sleeping in my sister's room and is snoring like he has swallowed a turkey. My great uncle Chris and his wife Maureen are also home from Australia. In their honour the family of Maureen held a bbq in their honour. We were invited down and spend some time with people who really qualify under the loosest possible definition of family. It was a strange afternoon, I was told a few times that it was really nice to see by someone who didn't know my name. Our family huddled together with my sister making observations, my favourite being "she looks like a fish". The real entertainment was provided by my uncle who went around telling people he was gay. He isn't, but it provided some laughs until my mum outed him as straight. Killyjoy.

love love love x

Friday, 12 August 2011

Starkey

I'm sorry. I take it back about Starkey, he's completely lost it. However, my Grandmother's love for him will remain/increase.

love love love x

England Keep My Bones

Its been quite a week hasn't it? Despite what some people claim I don't think many of us saw that coming. Watching the news this week has been awful and yet I have been compelled to watch, read and listen to as much as possible. I confess to having taken a morbid fascination in the whole thing. Dave is on TV now talking tough as I'm writing this. As it has calmed down for now at least, everyone is trying to explain what happened and it all seems so complicated and so simple at the same time. As usual people who have spoken about understanding what happened have been accused of justifying it. As a former history student, though not a very good one, and having spent some time writing essays about and trying to understand some truly horrific people that criticism is obviously ridiculous. Some people have given deep reasons of urban poverty and moral decay while others have said that it all simply about getting a new pair of trainers. I think it's a bit of both. New trainers aren't the problem. The problem is, and I include myself in this, that we at every level of society are too focused on stuff. Stuff we can really do without. Everywhere we see people looking out for themselves. Whether it be "greed is good" bankers or expense fiddling politicians. It's not just them, we have a huge credit card debt in this country and as Bluewater can testify that, even the day after Christmas, will queue and wait however long to get into a shopping centre. We define little girls as shoppers. It's not even just us, as I mentioned in an earier post all the kids at my camp wanted to do in London was shop. No interest in the sights, just shopping. It all started with Mark Duggan, who will probably be forgotten about, but people saw their chance and took stuff they otherwise would never be able to afford. That's my take on things anway. Sorry to get all sociological on you. Feel free to correct me.

The whole thing has left my Mother looking out of the window in case New Ash Green kicks off, so far, so good. My Dad can't believe his luck that he's been off all week and my sister dragged her boyfriend against his will to London today. If she didn't get to see We Will Rock You tonight then New Ash Green may well have been in flames tonight. So different, yet I'm assured we are related. The small remnants of camp had a last minute diversion to Thorpe Park which I'm told they enjoyed. I do worry what the millions of people around the world think when they see it all but I suppose there's nothing that can be done about that. Other countries have riots too. I just hope they all see the people cleaning up too.

Oh dear David Starkey is on TV tieing himself in knots; my grandmother will be cheering him on.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh5ogOH82Aw


love love love x

Saturday, 6 August 2011

A Box Full of Sharp Objects

Camp is over! It is completely dominated the last four weeks of my life but it has been completely worth it. Before hand I was unsure what it would involve and whether I would enjoy it. I had heard plenty of horror stories of summer camps that resembled the Lord of the Flies. However, I can honestly say that the whole experience has been fantastic. The organisation was perfect, the kids were great and everyone I worked with were wonderful. I don't want to gush but it has been awesome. Personally, I got some really good feedback about my classes which was a relief because at the end of my observation conversation had shifted to incest. We were talking about royal families you see. Camp was a lot of fun, couldn't have asked for anything more.

The last day culminated in presentations of inventions they had created. My class was in competition against the others and held up well. If one of my two groups don't win its a travesty. One went for a high brow solution to generating electricity in the future while the other went for a flying book carrier thing. Basically both were cardboard boxes with some straws attached but as I said, travesty if they don't win! One little girl from a different class had come up with a hair growth product, she used me as an example, what a bitch.

The real highlight was the kids. Teenagers seem to get a tough press in every country but these kids were intelligent, motivated and a lot of fun. In a month I only had to use the red daddy discipline folder once. A small scuffle due to over tiredness. Rather than just write the account, the supervisor Neil and I managed to make it a much more gripping tale. My favourite lines were "Student A hit boiling point after being sprayed with cold water (that's how angry he was)" and "Student A responded by driving his size 5 Nike basketball shoes into Student B's thigh, connecting twice". I just hope it doesn't have to be used for anything official or it could back fire very quickly. Being teenagers there were some very short lived and intense realtionships. There were dizzy highs and crushing lows often within the space of one afternoon. We all had to dish out realtionship advice, if only they knew how unqualified I am to give them advice on any front but especially that one, and were told we were cramping various kids styles. At one point they were playing truth or dare and one teacher Ancor decided to get a better listen. We lifted him through the window and he hid behind the curtain before being uncovered with a dramatic flourish. He was there long enough to learn some pretty shocking information. My teenage years were a lot quieter, I blame Charlton.

Talking of Chalton. The huge news is of course, the restarting of the football season! Oh yeah, it's back! The sigh of disappointment and the look on my mother's face said it all, it was gone but now it's back. I was lucky enough to be at Charlton's first game today, a rolicking 3-0 win! It was a surreal experience no one really knew how to react. We played really well, and won, easily. All the new signings looked good but Dale Stephens might be the victim of a man crush. He was awesome. The manager and players can feel pleased with themselves but the man who deserves the real credit is my Dad. Literally just as he said "I don't rate Scott Wagstaff", Scott Wagstaff collected the ball, cut inside and slammed the ball past the goal keeper from 25 yards out. You can't buy motivational skills like that. You're welcome Scott.

Other than that I've managed to see some Waitrose guys and the newly employed John, congratulations John! Since I have been basically been solely occupied with camp I haven't been in touch with a lot of people, it's nothing personal. Sorry but you will be hearing from me soon!

Now if you'll excuse me Con Air is on, what a head of hair

love love love x